4 keys to overcoming losses

Many of us have great dreams and visions we want to fulfill. However, sometimes we are met with challenges that hold us back, keep us stuck, and slow us down in our journey to fulfilling our potentials.
These challenges can come in the form of some sort of loss. In the Quran, God tells us,
“By time, Indeed, mankind is in loss, Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.” (Surat Al-Asr, Quran 103)
And we are also told:
“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.” (2:155)
These verses explain to us that human beings are naturally going to experience some sort of loss throughout the course of life – some loss of heath, some loss of wealth, some loss of loved ones, some loss of loved ‘things’ – whether they be a career or a dream or in some extreme cases safety and freedom. Arguably, if these losses are not managed properly, they can amount to an ultimate loss of a strong connection with God, happiness in an after-life, and peace and contentment in this life.
So the question is, how can we overcome these losses that are inevitable? How can we carry on with our lives to fulfill our ultimate purpose and maintain a strong connection with Allah? How can we heal those wounds and overcome those worries so we can live life to the fullest and step up to who we really could be and what we really could do to make a positive difference in the world?
First, it helps to remember that loss is a natural part of life because everything is transient, passing, and temporary. We can experience great sadness and pain but we can also experience great joy and relief. God tells us once again in Surat Al-Najm – that
“And that to your Lord is the finality, And that it is He who makes [one] laugh and weep, And that it is He who causes death and gives life.” (53:42-44)
Our health, wealth, and loved ones are all blessings and gifts that belong to the Lord and He has lent to us for some time. We just tend to forget that they are gifts from Him and end up attached to them, but not as attached and thankful to the One Who blessed us with them, even when He, in His Infinite Mercy, chooses to take the gifts away. And we know that for the believer, being tested or being blessed, are opportunities for patience and gratitude.
Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) was reported to have said:
“Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affair is good and this is not for no one except the believer. If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him.”
And once again we’re told in Surat Al-Asr, the way out of this state of loss, and how to overcome and cope with it so that we can move on to more contentment and success by the will of Allah.
These keys that are mentioned in the verses cited above are:
1) Belief in God
2) Doing Good
3) Enjoining each other to truth
4) Enjoining each other to patience
First Key
Our belief in God and in His Prophet (PBUH) and in His book (The Quran) allows us to understand that we were given this life as an opportunity, a chance, a way to achieve happiness both now and later, in the afterlife, if we can observe those keys to salvation. We are told in the Quran:
“He’s the One who has created death and life, so He may test you which of you is best in deeds. And He is that All-Mighty, the Oft-Forgiving.” (Quran 67:2)
Second Key
We are also told, “Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer - We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do.” (Quran 16:97)
So literally, we are here for a limited time, in a race for doing good which include the multitude of recommended actions in our faith, including the instructions of Islam and all of the beautiful moral characteristics that the Prophet, peace be upon him, announced that he was sent to perfect: “I was only sent to perfect good moral characters”.
So our good moral characters include kindness, generosity, forgiveness, justice, faithfulness, etc. This saying of dear prophet (PBUH) and the oft-mentioned virtues of good moral character in both the Quran and his tradition in fact emphasize that our acts of worship are supposed to shape, enhance and perfect our good moral characters. Our implementation of the Islamic instructions and practice of the highest moral characters should be our fuel to taking care of the world and making a positive difference.
Third Key
The third key mentioned in the verses above is to hold on to the truth – the truth of the belief in Allah and His words in the Quran which include the nature of the temporary world, the truth that it will have both the good and the bad, and you will feel happy and sad and we are reminded of this: “And when adversity touches man, he calls upon his Lord, turning to Him [alone]; then when He bestows on him a favor from Himself, he forgets Him whom he called upon before, and he attributes to Allah equals to mislead [people] from His way. Say, "Enjoy your disbelief for a little; indeed, you are of the companions of the Fire.” (Quran 39:8)
We need to constantly remind each other of this truth because as human beings, we are prone to forget – forget the blessings that Lord bestowed upon us with – forget the years that He gave us ease – and tend to only remember the times of difficulty and the times when we were tested with loss of some blessings that Allah, in His Infinite Knowledge and Wisdom, Knows would ultimately be for our betterment and elevation. We know from the stories in the Quran and stories of great people that transformation many times came out of tribulation and the greatest moments of weakness paved the way to the greatest moments of strength.
Fourth Key
Finally the fourth key we are told about is patience. Patience is mentioned repeatedly in the Quran and there can be volumes upon volumes written about the virtues and importance of patience:
“O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” (Quran 2:153)
“So be patient, [O Mohammad]. Indeed, the promise of Allah is truth. And ask forgiveness for your sin and exalt [Allah] with praise of your Lord in the evening and the morning.” (Quran 40:55)
This verse is very moving because it’s like God is comforting and assuring us that no matter what we may experience or witness others experience and suffering from, He is there, taking care of us every step of the way. Our part is once again to support each other to be patient.
It’s important to remember that those last two keys involve supporting one another and reaching out for one another. Many people don’t speak about their losses and some don’t even want to feel loss because naturally feeling loss entails feeling sorrow, sadness, guilt, or shame. It is important to remember though that just because you don’t talk about it and don’t want to feel it doesn’t mean that it’s not there. In fact, if it’s not dealt with and managed properly, it can affect the rest of your life now or even later.
Many people also don’t speak about their losses because they are afraid of showing their vulnerabilities – they do not want to seem weak or not in control. And this can stem from having the tendency to be a perfectionist and want things to appear like they’re perfect when we know perfection only belongs to the Lord and that in reality, nobody is ‘perfect’ or lives a ‘perfect life’. We are told about our weak nature in the Quran and how Allah wishes to help us through those weaknesses: